No More
by Crushed Leather
Summary: DawnSpike darkfic. Dawn is afraid of being alone, and Spike is there to...comfort her. Dark angst, sexual situations. R&R please.


Disclaimer: Not mine. You know who they belong to. 

  


Season: 6th After Buffy's death.

  


Pairings; Dawn/Spike. One warning; Flames will be laughed at...and hard. I am intrigued by this relationship. It's a lot better than Buffy and Spike. This is Dawn/Spike angst by the way. 

  


Feedback: Yes! You can send it here: rockhardglitter@yahoo.com and I'll even write you back.

  


Author's Note: Normally I ship Spike/Cordelia, but this is twisted and I just couldn't resist. Has the making for some great angst, and if you know me, you know that's what I love. So..enjoy the darkness!

  
  


No More

By: Leather

She watches them lower the coffin that contains her older sister. Her body is wracked with the sobs of a young girl, horrible sobs someone at that age should never have to know. Her heart is on her sleeve...and she is in pain. Willow holds her, but Willow can't stop the tears that are still dripping down Dawn Summer's face as Willow and her lover Tara lead Dawn home.

  


Once in her room, Dawn is given sedatives to keep her quiet. The former key stares blindly out the window, trying not to sob and alert the two witches that their medicine did not work. She was all alone in the world. No mother, really no father...and no sister.

  


Buffy had been her world. All her life Dawn had emulated her older sister, watching her with her friends.

  


And now she was gone.

  


Dawn felt hollow. She rose shakily and looked down at her black outfit. It was better like this. Dark...drab...how she felt. Dawn looked at her bright room with all the teen age colors and in another fit of rage began to tear them down. Noises came above, causing Willow to look up.

  


"Tara!" She gasps, and Tara rose, both of them hurrying up the stairs towards Dawn's room. Or...what had been like Dawn's room. Now it was a mess. Everything treasured and cherished had been on the floor, and she was stomping them to bits. The bedspread had been ripped, and torn and was now pieces of orange and blue fabric.

  


"Dawn!" Willow walks towards her and embraces Dawn, but Dawn shoves her back. "No!" Dawn said vehemently. "You don't understand. None of you." She glared at them, her eyes red and puffy and swollen from crying. "None of you understand. It has to be like this. Because...I'm not real. Don't you see?"

  


Pain was in Willow's eyes as she tried to comfort the young girl who would have none of that. Dawn grabbed a dark jacket. "I'm going out." She said making her way to her window. "And I'll be back when I feel like it."

  


Willow looked over at Tara, who frowned. "Dawn–" But it was too late. Dawn had crawled down the tree and was running from the yard. She ran for miles, until they came to the cemetery that Buffy had been buried at. Dawn runs through the rows of tombstones and stands in front of the one that had her sister's name.

  


Buffy Anne Summers

1981-200

She saved the world. A lot.

Dawn stares at that grave, hurting....hurting so bad. "Why did you leave me?" She yelled at her sister's grave. "Now I'm all alone! They don't understand and you did! Now you're gone!" She yelled, her throat hurting from the effort of yelling, constricting tight and painful. "I thought you loved me!"

  


Arms went around her. With the arms, came the familiar scent of tobacco, leather and Brute aftershave. But Dawn didn't even want comfort from him, from one who could understand. She thrashed in his arms that tried to deliver that comfort...pulling away, hurting.

  


"She left me!" She shouted, face teary and smeared with her grief. He sighs and reaches for her again, but she slaps away his hand. "No! No more!" Dawn falls to the ground, crying to herself. "It hurts.."she whimpered through tears. "She left me."

  


It's all she can say. He sighs again, and picks her up holding her to him, murmuring something low she can't hear. He takes her to his place, the crypt and she doesn't stop him. He lays her on his bed. For a moment, intrigue make her eyes grow wide, watching. Wondering. Was he...

  


No.

  


"Sleep here." he told her, taking off the duster, then what was obviously a dirty shirt and donning on a clean one. "I'll sleep upstairs." he says.

  


"Spike." She squeaks, watching him. "Don't leave me too." Her eyes beg him. She doesn't want to be left alone in her grief, in this....madness she is feeling. She's wanting to hurt someone, just to take away her own pain. "Please?"

  


He studies her, and frowns as though he'd rather not. But remembering his promise, he nods and walks over to her. "I'll sit here." Pulling up a crate, intending to watch her sleep. She frowns now.

  


"But.." She said. Frowning. Needing him there, with her...close. "I.." She doesn't know how to ask, and he doesn't know what she wants...needs.

  


Comfort.

  


"Spike..." Dawn begins again, clearing her throat. "You don't have to leave." Dawn says. "I mean or sit there. It–*is* you bed, after all."

  


There. She said it.

  


Sort of.

  


He stares at her for the longest time, realizing that she just wants comfort. He nods, raises and walks over to the bed, getting comfortable before pulling her into his arms. She's soft and she doesn't resist him. She cries quietly against him.

  


He does his best. After all, the older sis never wanted him, right? He frowns to himself as Dawn burrows against him, seeking...something.

  


"No more." She whispers again, letting out a sob. "Please just let it all stop. Don't let anyone else die...because of me, please."

  


"Shh Bit." He says, rocking her and absently dropping a soft kiss on her head. Her hair is soft and silken. "It's Ok. Big Bad's here...nothing's going to hurt you again." He assures her. She looks up at him and leans up, first kissing him on his cold cheek, then on the lips.

  


Spike eyes her, wondering what kind of thoughts are going through her mind. She smiles, and runs a hand through his hair. It needs to be bleached again, but he just hasn't had the energy to do so. Not that it really mattered, when Buffy was dead.

  


Nothing mattered.

  


Except her.

  


But he couldn't.

  


"Dawn.." Spike says, his throat sounding hoarse knowing what she wanted. He felt drained. Sweet little child sitting in his arms, so content when years ago he had murdered and hurt children like her.

  


"Don't say anything." She says, looking suddenly wiser than her actual age. "Just...give in.." She kisses him again, and then again until he is forced to respond, despite being ashamed of the feelings stirring in him. 

  


"This is wrong."

  


"So let it be wrong." She said and accepted his kisses, wanting to grow bolder intrigued by the look in his eye. She....she didn't know exactly what she was thinking, or doing at the moment. She just knew that...

  


It felt good.

  


To be held and kissed by him, and rocked and soothed. Even when he kissed her in the way of a lover, she liked it. Even though he looked slightly ill at what he was doing, he still kept kissing her needing this himself. He placed her down on the bed and heard her heartbeat start. Frantic thumping.

  


He didn't stop. He had her undressed, and was kissing her everywhere, excited by her cries, her gasps and surprised sounds. He hadn't had one like this in a long time, even if it was wrong.

  


So very wrong. But he still took, and even though she didn't understand most of it, she still gave.

****

She woke up and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, smoking a cigarette wearing sweat pants again. She was so sore, and...felt...odd. Strange. It hadn't been like the books she had read, or the movies she had seen. Where was that ecstasy she wanted, needed?

  


It had never came. She was sore all over, every muscle aching in her. He'd kept murmuring he was sorry over and over, but he didn't stop.

  


She didn't want him to. Dawn sighed to herself, and stayed underneath the covers, where it was warm. She was naked, and felt shy, embarrassed. 

  


"I'll take you home." He says, raising and slipped on a shirt. He turned to her, studying her. "Why, Dawn?" He asks.

  


"I don't know." Dawn said cringing back against the bed. And she didn't, not really except...

  


It had felt good....sort of. Well, the beginning had felt odd and rough and there was pain, ok so maybe she couldn't think of anything else *but* the pain and had been crying underneath him the whole time. 

  


"This can't happen again." Spike says hoarsely, running his hand through his hair. "Not ever again Dawn." he turned. "It..." He frowned. "You're such a young thing...pure...and I'm...evil." he gasped the last word. "I'll.." He shook his head. "Come on bit, I'll take you home." He repeated. 

  


It was still night when they walked back to the Summer's house, though the sky was starting to lighten. Dawn sighed to herself, hoping her sister's spirit hadn't witnessed her most shameful secret. She had used Spike.

  


"Spike?" She turns to him before they reached the house. "I'm sorry." She said. "I shouldn't have done....that....it won't happen again."

  


Spike nods and tosses a cigarette butt to the ground. "Best you get inside Niblet." he told her. "Witches will worry." He looked over at her and managed a haphazard-like smile. "Night Bit." And then he walked off, into the darkness.

  


Dawn sniffled once, straightens her shoulders and takes a deep breath. What she had done to Spike was wrong, using him for her own selfish purposes. And it would never happen again. No more. She thought to herself, and walked inside.

  


"Willow?" Dawn calls. "Tara?" She peeks into the darkened house. "I'm home." She says.

  


~FIN~


End file.
